I made the decision last year that I would go back to uni and try and progress my studies to eventually get either a Masters of PhD. There’s not benefit to this for my current career, nor is it anything to do with advancing further along in the same field.
I just really like studying and researching.
So I enrolled, got my acceptance letter and now I am working “full time” and have one day a week for all of my units. That’s me essentially doing a 4-day work week and having to play this song and dance to the head of office begging for 1 day free. I would have asked for 2, but I’ve seen those requests being denied immediately because we’re a 5-day a week kind of operation.
And fast track to now, I feel overwhelmed. 3 units to cram into 1 day, while I’m still carrying the mental load of work and trying to min-max my time efficiently. There are days where I wished it was feasible for me to just quit my job and study full time, but that’s an impossible wish.
I wish I feel like I’m comfortably treading water, and I think I give off that impression to my colleagues, classmates and family. But I feel like I’m losing strength and I’m starting to drown. I know something’s got to give, but I’m being foolishly optimistic that a mid-semester break will help me a little (yay, free day off without having to put in a request). I’m still stubborn enough to eventually run on nothing but fumes though, I refuse to give one or the other up unless I have a safety net in place.
Fingers crossed.
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