Performatively Reading

Believe it or not, a good measured mix of salt, meat flavoured powders, enhancers, shellfish extracts and a buttload of sesame makes the best morning broth for ramen. Not the ones made with back-breaking labour, it’s the cheap dollar-fifty instant noodle packs. Pop the kettle on, bust open that pack and place the noodles in the bowl first. Then open that seasoning packet and pour the lot in, do it like you’re doing a shakedown. Once the water boils, pour it into the bowl and make sure it’s directed at that little pile of flavour powder. Crack an egg into your bowl and cover it with a lid or a large plate, anything that covers the whole bowl will do. 

Then you wait. It’ll be the longest three minutes of your day and the greatest test of patience, but you have to wait the full three minutes. It’s a lot to ask for on a Saturday morning but I promise you, once that lid is off the smell will rush at your face with all its savoury goodness. Finish that bad boy with a drizzle of sesame oil and chopped spring onions (or scallions for the fancier people).

That first sip is an immediate launch down your throat and into your chest, where it’ll spread outwards like a monarch butterfly. You will find yourself smiling and feel the sleep evaporate from your body, and then before you know it, you’re trying to shove as much noodles into your mouth to try and get that second hit of warmth.

Take a moment to breathe and appreciate that window of peace you’re in. Sure it all tastes so artificial but if you want a warm, fuzzy start to your weekend then there’s no better soupy way than to slurp down some noodles.